Even with Taye Diggs and Anthony Rapp singing their hearts out, crooning about five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes, love and all kinds of other crap, she didn't make me watch Rent on the weekend.
The problem was, I couldn't look away.
It was a train wreck, plain-and-simple. I wished I could find a screwdriver so I could stab my own eyes out - but I couldn't find one, so I watched.
And watched.
And wondered what the world did to deserve this garbage.
I have heard nothing but great things about the stage production - and I happen to like theatre very much - but I have to wonder, did I really need to see Rent on my Sony?
If the movie had one character I could connect with, root for, or even feel an ounce of sadness toward, perhaps I would feel better about it - but there isn't.
Sure they're sick, poor and jobless, but are they doing anything to better themselves? Nope - their sole purpose in life is to bore me.
Get a job and stop your whining.
That's one hundred and thirty-eight minutes I will never back.
Sing about that!
It has been 12 years since we first met Randal, Dante and Jay and Silent Bob.
We have watched them save the world, take over a mall and even Strike Back against Hollywood, all the while poking fun at everything from sexual orientation to racism to religion.
Now we return to the Quik Stop (for about two minutes before it burns to the ground).
Clerks II was released on DVD this week and will no doubt be under plenty of Christmas trees come Dec. 25 - although the movie is far from holiday fare.
From exploits with mules to Lord of the Rings versus Star Wars, nothing is safe in the latest Kevin Smith offering ... and fans of the original cult classic will not be disappointed.
The humor, although profane and perhaps too politically incorrect at times, is very smart and delivered perfectly by the cast.
Visually, Clerks II is much more polished than Smith's earlier works and it does seem odd for about 30 seconds, but its looks are not the only polished part of the film. Smith's writing has grown considerably since he first penned Jay's original rant in Clerks. The conversations are still stylish but more realistic and most importantly, laugh-out-loud funny.
If you are lucky enough to get the DVD under the tree, think twice before gathering the family around the big screen for a Christmas matinee.
Grandmas and inter-species erotica don't mix.
